Valentine's Day is a Trap. Here's Why:

Circe and Valentine's Day: Desire, Discernment, and the Art of Refusal

Circe and Valentine's Day: Desire, Discernment, and the Art of Refusal

Valentine's Day is saturated with sweetness. Hearts, vows, promises of fusion. It celebrates attraction as inevitability and devotion as virtue.

Circe does not recognize this script.

In Greek myth, Circe is not the patroness of romantic surrender. She is the sorceress of discernment. Desire passes through her island and reveals its true form.

To place Circe beside Valentine's Day is to shift the emphasis from longing to judgment.

The Island as Testing Ground

In the Odyssey, when Odysseus and his men arrive on Aeaea, Circe does not seduce first. She hosts.

The men eat. They drink. They relax. Then they transform into swine.

This episode is often framed as punishment. It reads more clearly as revelation.

Circe does not change their nature. She exposes it. Appetite overtakes awareness. Consumption overrides caution. The animal rises because it was already present.

Valentine's Day invites indulgence. Circe asks what indulgence reveals.

Desire as Alchemy

Circe is frequently reduced to a temptress. This ignores her deeper function.

She is a pharmakeia, a worker of potions and herbs. She understands that substances alter perception, and perception alters identity. In myth, she knows the properties of plants, roots, and mixtures that dissolve one state into another.

Desire functions similarly.

Under Circe's gaze, attraction becomes diagnostic. What you pursue, what you tolerate, what you excuse in the name of love, all expose underlying patterns.

Valentine's Day celebrates attachment. Circe investigates it.

The One Who Could Not Be Overpowered

When Odysseus confronts Circe, he does not succeed through brute force. He receives protection from Hermes and resists her enchantment. Only then does he approach her as an equal.

Circe respects this.

She does not destroy him. She hosts him for a year.

This exchange reveals something crucial. Circe does not despise desire. She despises weakness masked as devotion. The man who cannot be transformed against his will becomes her companion rather than her victim.

Placed against Valentine's Day, this myth sharpens the question:

Are you seeking someone to dissolve into, or someone who can stand in your presence without losing themselves.

Love Without Self Erosion

Circe's island is not a prison for Odysseus. It is a pause. A place of instruction and recalibration.

She feeds him, advises him, and ultimately releases him.

This is not possessive love. It is sovereign love.

Circe does not beg him to stay. She does not chase. She does not collapse when he leaves. She remains whole before, during, and after connection.

In a season that markets love as merging, Circe represents containment.

Working 1: The Sovereign Attraction Skull (Loadable Candle Spell)

Timing: New moon through full moon in February, or any Friday (Venus day)

You'll need:

• 1 loadable skull candle (we stock these in multiple colors: red for passion, black for sovereignty, and more)

• Herbs to load inside the skull:

  • Damiana (attraction without desperation)

  • Rose petals (love that respects boundaries)

  • Lavender (clarity in desire)

  • Yarrow (protection from self-betrayal)

  • Bay leaf (victory, sovereignty)

• Stones to load inside the skull:

  • Rose quartz (love without loss of self)

  • Black tourmaline chip (maintains boundaries even in attraction)

  • Carnelian chip (desire grounded in reality)

• Personal concerns:

  • A piece of paper with your clear intention written on it

  • Optional: a drop of your perfume/cologne, a hair, or fingernail clipping

• Anointing oil (see Working 2 below to make your own, or use our practitioner made oils)

• A photo of yourself looking powerful, sovereign, desirable (not vulnerable or pleading)

• Matches or lighter

• A fireproof surface

The working:

CRITICAL FRAMING: This is not a "make someone love me" spell. This is a "I attract what matches my sovereignty" working. Circe does not beg. She reveals. She attracts those who can stand in her presence without losing themselves.

1. Prepare your intention with brutal honesty

On your piece of paper, write what you're actually calling in. Not a fantasy. Not a specific person who doesn't want you. Not "true love" in the abstract.

Examples of Circean intentions:

• "I attract someone who sees my power and does not try to diminish it"

• "I call in desire that does not require me to be smaller"

• "Love comes to me that can survive my sovereignty"

• "I am seen, wanted, and not asked to transform myself for approval"

Fold the paper toward you three times.

2. Load the skull candle

Remove the top of the skull

Place your folded intention paper inside first. This is the foundation.

Add your personal concern if using (perfume, hair, nail clipping). This links the spell to your specific energy signature.

Layer the herbs inside the skull:

• Damiana: "Attraction without need."

• Rose petals: "Love that respects."

• Lavender: "Clarity in desire."

• Yarrow: "I protect myself even in wanting."

• Bay leaf: "I remain sovereign."

Add the three stone chips:

• Rose quartz: "Love without erosion."

• Black tourmaline: "Boundaries stay intact."

• Carnelian: "Desire grounded in truth."

Close the skull.

3. Dress the candle

Anoint the outside of the skull with your oil (use the Circe Love Oil from Working 2, or any love-drawing oil).

As you dress it, speak:

"This skull is me. Sovereign. Desirable. Discerning. I do not beg. I do not diminish. I attract what can stand in my presence. Circe, witness this work."

4. Set the working

Place your photo beneath the skull candle. You are the foundation. The candle draws to your power, not to your need.

Light the skull. As it burns, speak your intention aloud once clearly, then let the candle work in silence.

5. Burn protocol

Let the skull candle burn in sessions (1-3 hours at a time, never unattended). Between burns, keep it on your altar or in a space you see daily.

As it burns over several days, watch for signs:

• The flame burns steady: the working is aligned

• The flame flickers wildly: check your intention for desperation or grasping

• The candle burns clean: the path is clear

• The candle smokes or struggles: there may be blocks to address (fear, unworthiness, attachment to someone who isn't right)

6. When the candle is spent

After the skull has burned completely, collect any remaining herbs, stones, and wax. You have options:

Option A (keep the energy active): Wrap everything in red cloth and keep it on your altar or under your bed until the desire manifests.

Option B (release the energy): Bury everything at a crossroads or under a tree, returning the working to the earth to manifest.

The stones can be cleaned and reused. The herbs and wax should be disposed of respectfully.

What this working does:

This is attraction magic run through Circe's lens. You are not begging the universe to send you someone. You are declaring your standards and calling in what matches them.

The skull represents the mind, clarity, discernment. You are not working from the heart alone (which can lie). You are working from sovereign desire that knows the difference between chemistry and compatibility.

Circe does not guarantee you'll get who you want. She guarantees you won't accept who you shouldn't.

We stock loadable skull candles in multiple colors, all the herbs and stones listed above, and everything you need for Circean love magic that doesn't require you to be small. Visit the shop and build your sovereign attraction spell.

The Shadow of Romance

Circe's power is unsettling because it forces confrontation with appetite.

Who becomes smaller in the name of love. Who abandons judgment for sweetness. Who confuses chemistry with destiny.

The swine are not random. They are men reduced to hunger.

Valentine's Day glamorizes hunger. Circe tests it.

The Witch Who Chooses

Circe lives alone. This is not exile. It is preference.

She receives who she wants. She transforms who she needs to. She releases who has completed their stay.

She is not anti-love. She is anti-self-betrayal.

To invoke Circe in February is to shift focus from attracting affection to refining discernment. From being desired to being sovereign. From longing to lucidity.

Working 2: Circe's Sovereign Love Oil (DIY Potion Craft)

Timing: Friday during waxing or full moon for maximum Venus energy

You'll need:

Base oil (choose one):

• Sweet almond oil (traditional, absorbs well)

• Jojoba oil (long shelf life, skin safe)

• Fractionated coconut oil (light, non-greasy)

• Apricot kernel oil (luxurious, Venus ruled)

Dried herbs (we stock all of these):

• Damiana (attraction, desire without neediness)

• Rose petals (love, beauty, self-worth)

• Lavender (clarity, discernment in desire)

• Yarrow (protection from self-betrayal in love)

• Cardamom pods (passion, exotic attraction)

• Cinnamon chips (heat, drawing power)

• Jasmine flowers (sovereign sensuality, night-blooming power)

Essential oils (optional but powerful):

• Rose absolute or rose otto (if you can afford it, 1-2 drops)

• Jasmine absolute (1-2 drops)

• Ylang ylang (3-4 drops, intoxicating but grounded)

• Patchouli (2-3 drops, earthy sensuality)

• Sandalwood (2-3 drops, base note, centering)

Stones to charge the oil:

• Rose quartz (small tumbled stone or chips)

• Carnelian (passion that doesn't consume)

• Garnet (deep desire, commitment without loss of self)

Equipment:

• Clean glass jar or bottle (amber or cobalt blue preferred, protects from light)

• Cheesecloth or fine strainer

• Funnel

• Labels

• Small bowl for mixing

The working:

1. Set sacred space and intention

This is not a recipe. This is potion craft. Treat it as ceremony.

Light a candle (pink, red, or purple). Set out your ingredients. Speak to Circe:

"Circe, pharmakeia, mistress of transformation, I craft this oil in your name. May it draw love that does not diminish me. May it reveal desire that can withstand my power. May it protect me from hunger disguised as devotion."

2. Choose your base oil amount

For a small batch (testing): 2 oz base oil For regular use: 4 oz base oil For a larger working batch: 8 oz base oil

Pour your base oil into the clean jar.

3. Add the herbs

Add herbs one at a time, speaking their purpose as you do:

• 1 tablespoon damiana: "Attraction without desperation."

• 1 tablespoon rose petals: "Love that sees me whole."

• 1 teaspoon lavender: "Clarity in desire."

• 1 teaspoon yarrow: "I protect my sovereignty even in wanting."

• 1/2 teaspoon cardamom pods (crushed slightly): "Passion with spice."

• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon chips: "Drawing power."

• 1 tablespoon jasmine flowers: "I bloom in darkness. I am sovereign in desire."

Stir clockwise (to draw in) with a clean spoon or stick.

4. Add essential oils (if using)

If you're using essential oils, add them now. Remember: less is more. Essential oils are potent.

Suggested blend for 4 oz base:

• 2 drops rose absolute

• 2 drops jasmine absolute

• 4 drops ylang ylang

• 3 drops patchouli

• 3 drops sandalwood

Stir clockwise again, speaking:

"Layers of desire. Depth and surface. Power and beauty. Circe, bless this blend."

5. Add the charging stones

Drop your rose quartz, carnelian, and garnet into the oil. They will remain in the oil permanently, continuing to charge it.

6. Seal and charge

Close the jar tightly. Hold it in both hands. Visualize the oil glowing with magnetic, sovereign power. Not desperate. Not begging. Magnetic because it is complete.

Speak:

"This oil is charged. It draws what matches my sovereignty. It repels what would reduce me. It reveals truth beneath attraction. By Circe's art, so it is."

7. Infusion time

Place the jar in a dark, cool place. Let it infuse for:

• Minimum: 1 full moon cycle (approximately 28 days)

• Optimal: 6 weeks

• Maximum potency: 3 full moons

Shake the jar gently every few days, reaffirming your intention each time.

8. Strain and bottle

After the infusion period, strain the oil through cheesecloth into a clean bottle. Remove the herbs (they can be composted or returned to earth with gratitude). Keep the stones in the oil or place them on your altar.

Label your oil: "Circe's Sovereign Love Oil" and the date you made it.

9. How to use

For attraction:

• Anoint yourself (wrists, heart, throat) before going out or before dates

• Dress candles for love workings (like the skull candle above)

• Add a few drops to ritual baths

For discernment:

• Anoint yourself before difficult conversations about relationships

• Use when you need to see clearly whether someone is right for you

• Dress objects that represent your standards (a mirror, a photo of yourself)

For protection in love:

• Anoint doorways to keep out those who would diminish you

• Anoint your bed frame for sovereign sensuality

• Use in rituals to break patterns of self-betrayal in relationships

Shelf life: If kept cool and dark, this oil lasts 6-12 months. If it smells off or changes color drastically, it's time to make a new batch.

What this working does:

This is Circe as pharmakeia, potion-maker, herb-worker. You are crafting an alchemical blend that carries specific intention: love without self-loss.

Unlike commercial love oils that focus purely on attraction, this oil has protection built in. It draws AND discerns. It opens AND guards.

The act of making it yourself is part of the magic. You are not a consumer buying power. You are a practitioner crafting it.

All the herbs, stones, and supplies you need for Circe's Love Oil are in our shop. We stock dried damiana, jasmine, yarrow, rose petals, and everything else for serious potion craft. Visit the shop and brew your sovereignty.

Circe's Valentine

A Circean Valentine's Day does not begin with roses.

It begins with the question: Who am I when I am not enchanted by attention.

Under her current, love is not proven by sacrifice. It is proven by clarity.

If someone enters your island, they must remain human.

If you enter theirs, you must do the same.

Circe does not forbid love.

She insists that it survive transformation.

Working Notes: Circe Magic in Practice

Sovereignty does not mean alone. Circe had lovers, companions, children. She was not isolated by choice of loneliness. She was selective. There is a difference.

The skull candle can be adapted. If you don't have access to a skull candle, you can use a figural candle, a taper candle dressed with the herbs, or even create a container spell using a jar.

The oil can be customized. If you have allergies or strong preferences, substitute herbs that work for your body. The principle matters more than the exact recipe: attraction + discernment + protection.

Test for skin sensitivity. Before using the oil on your body, do a patch test on your inner wrist. Some people react to certain herbs or essential oils. Circe wants you empowered, not rashy.

Valentine's Day is optional. These workings are effective any time you need to call in sovereign love or protect yourself from self-betrayal in desire. February is thematically resonant, but Circe is available year-round.

P.S. Working with Circe this Valentine's season? Share what you're learning about sovereign desire, discernment in love, and attraction without erosion. Tag us @ritualcapecod with #CirceValentine. We want to hear how practitioners are refusing to be swine.

Support This Work (& Your Practice)

Everything you need for Circean love magic is in our shop:

Sovereign Attraction Essentials:

• Loadable skull candles (red, pink, black, purple)

• Dried herbs: damiana, rose petals, lavender, yarrow, cardamom, cinnamon, jasmine

• Tumbled stones: rose quartz, black tourmaline, carnelian, garnet

• Love-drawing condition oils (if you prefer not to make your own)

• Circe Imagery

• Books for exploring greek magick

Why shop with us? Because we stock supplies for practitioners who understand that love magic should not require you to be small. We carry real damiana, actual jasmine flowers, quality essential oils, and candles that can handle serious workings. When you buy from us, you support a team that believes Circe had the right idea: desire should survive sovereignty.

VISIT THE SHOP

P.P.S. This kind of myth-work (Circe as lens for modern love magic, potion craft that protects as it attracts, candle spells that demand clarity) takes years of practice and cultural study. It exists because you support our shop. Every herb bundle, every skull candle, every bottle of oil you buy funds more free resources like this. No ads. No corporate sponsors. Just practitioners keeping the witch's craft alive. Thank you.

Circe does not beg. She does not chase. She does not collapse.

She attracts. She discerns. She remains whole.

This Valentine's, be the witch on the island.

Let them prove they can stand in your presence.